How to Wrap a Cat

Okay, before I start, I realize this is not a post about Christmas (or other holiday) decorations, but it is technically about decorating something for Christmas. So as self-appointed judge and jury, I rule this is okay to post.

Many of you may be familiar with the YouTube sensation "How to Wrap a Cat for Christmas." If not, here you go:

Adorable, right?

If only it were that easy.

At least for me.

See, I have a gorgeous cat. Her name is Nevaeh, which of course, is heaven backward. And I have a firm belief, after owning a dog named Cujo and this kitteh, that the name of the pet determines their personality. Cujo, at the age of eight weeks, nearly tore my dad's thumb off. Nevaeh, well, Nevaeh has done a lot. Like tear my arms up, attack my feet every time I climb into the shower, reenact the face hugger scene in Alien. Not your normal cat stuff. As you can see, in the picture below, she's not very pleasant.

 Apparently, she wakes up on her own time.

So, anyway, when it comes to wrapping a cat, it just isn't that easy when Nevaeh is the cat in question. So, here is how I would wrap a cat:

1. Unroll a sheet of wrapping paper on the floor.
2. Wait until Nevaeh attacks the wrapping paper and lays on top of it.
3. Try to touch paper to shape it.
4. Put band-aids over fresh cuts.
5. Throw paper over cat.
6. Run.
7. Apply new band-aids and take an allergy pill.
8. Return to the paper once kitteh has again attacked it.
9. Quickly place piece of tape on paper.
10. Throw paper over cat, hoping tape sticks.
11. Run.
12. Hide from the quivering, snarling, white-hot ball of feline terror. Have phone ready to call 911.
13. Give up, and spend the rest of the month sleeping with one eye open.

I won't say I wish I had a more docile cat, though my scarred arms would be okay with that. I will say that my kitteh just makes things a little more interesting than your average pet. And that's why I love her.

Our Inspiration

The idea for this blog actually came about last Christmas, and somewhere on this computer, I have quite a few pictures of bad decorations (trust me, you'll see them as time goes by). It started with a simple drive to my brother's and ended with a dream.

Now, the house wasn't horribly decorated. It just wasn't decorated very well. A string of multicolored lights draped along the exterior of a home just around the corner from my brother's house. I don't mean that it was strung out in a straight line that is more exact than any I could ever draw. No, I mean it was draped. Even that, in itself, would not be enough for me to cry fowl (though I did see one tonight that made me second-guess that opinion).

What made us laugh and point each and every time we drove by was how it had been draped along the windows, then ran down the middle of the house to the front door and wrapped around until it moved along the top of the garage. In print, that may not seem so odd, but trust me, in person it was just odd.

I drove by there earlier tonight on my way to grab my brother to take some photos that you will soon see here. And while the house is a bit better than last year, it's still just enough to remind me of why I do this - drive around neighborhoods with my spider tripod wrapped around the door of my car, taking pictures of houses and hoping the occupants don't call the cops thinking I'm a burglar-to-be.

So, without further ado, our inspiration (pay special attention to how the windows connect to the door to the garage):

And yes, I really hate those blue LED lights. Can't get them to photograph right to save my life.

Terror in the Trees

My brother, sister, niece and I have been talking a lot lately about our Christmas decoration pet peeves. It's not too hard to come up with them, especially when people have some of the craziest looking displays. My pet peeve is probably one of the most visible blunders. It's also something you would think wouldn't happen, considering it involves a major part of Christmas decorations.

Seriously, if we can wrap lights around a tree inside of our homes, how come so many people can't do it outside? Even the lights on the outside of their homes can be perfect, but the trees in their yards wind up looking like they just stood at the bottom and threw the bundle up into the tree. Worse, some just decorate half the tree.

Don't believe me? Check out these beauties. And I apologize for the quality on some. They're cell phone pictures because I forgot my camera and tripod.

House looks great. WTF is wrong with the tree??

Just the bottom, really?

I'm pretty sure the KU Jayhawk threw up on this tree.

What????

In my opinion, this is the biggest Christmas offender. If you can make your six-foot Sarasota pine look fantastic, why can't you apply a little care and precision to the trees in your yard? Please. I'm begging you.

Or better yet, skip the tree and just throw the lights on your house. Or bushes. Or anything else.